I’d like to say a few words regarding my new favourite snack, Dream Chews. These delicious fruit chews are made with 80% real fruit, natural juices, and… what’s that?… HONEY?! The result is positively the most amazing little snack money can buy. Speaking of which, remember to bring a little extra dough to your local convenient store, because these babies are kinda pricey at $2.49 a pack, but trust me, they are most certainly worth it. Once purchased (though I am constantly tempted to eat them in the store), I’ll usually cram 3 or 4 chews in my mouth at a time and then brace myself for the impending flavour explosion.
OK I know what you’re saying: “Geoff, you were intoxicated when you bought those.” And yes maybe that is true for each of the 5 times I have purchased them & maybe there are better snacks out there, but I’ll tell you this: no other snack has ever lifted my spirits so high to necessitate a g’blah entry following the fifth encounter with my tastebuds.
edit: I just checked the Junk Food Blog, and the suggested retail price for a pack of Dream Chews is $.99-$1.29. Someone is getting ripped off and that someone is me. I feel cheated. Now the search begins for appropriately priced chews.
Ok, ok. I said I’d let the world know once I healed.
I went to the emergency room a couple weeks ago and got the little bastard lanced. It was painful for a few minutes, but according to the doctor I had done most of the difficult work myself at home. Yes, I am a medical genius. They gave me antibiotics and about a week’s worth of codeine. Two weeks later, I am completely back to normal. On a related note, if I saw you at the Pitchfork Music Festival a couple weekends back, I was FLYING on pain meds & alcohol and should offer an apology to anyone I came in contact with who dealt with my lack of coherence. I accept no responsibility for my words or actions, although if my memory serves correctly (ha!) I barely spoke to anyone and I’m quite sure I spent most of the time sitting down and having mostly pleasant thoughts on my most pleasant feeling ass.
On an unrelated note, last Friday morning at 1:30 am some lunatic in a white Jeep Grand Cherokee with Indiana plates tried to kill me and Tim at Damen/Addison as we were riding our bikes back to Wicker Park from Lincoln Square. Completely unprovoked, the guy ran me off the road causing me to endo and then he actually HIT Tim with his car, causing him to fall in the street. King Douchebag pounded on the brakes, slid his car to a stop in the middle of the intersection, then he, his squatty-looking buddy from the passenger seat who was now brandishing a knife & a really ugly female (species uncertain) pursued Tim on foot as he could not get back to his bike in time. I was about 50 yards behind and had just re-mounted my bike. Patrons from the Black Rock bar and residents of a nearby apartment building flocked to the street and the jackasses ceased their attack and ran back to the Jeep. I rode up behind them & took note of their license plates.
My guess is they were probably trashy 20-somethings from NW Indiana (sorry for the generalization, Hoosiers), drunk or coked up or both, coming into the city looking for trouble. Part of me hopes I’ll run into them again or, better yet, their vehicle though I’m not exactly sure what I would do. Inflicting damage on either driver or SUV seems fair at this point but yes, of course I know better. Damn conscience. Why do I have one when others seem completely devoid? This guy intended to seriously injure us or worse. I will never understand a desire to carry out random acts of violence on innocent people. However, I suppose non-douchebaggery can’t exist without douchebaggery. Yin/yang. I guess I’m over it then. Tim and I are fine. We took out our aggression on some innocent breakfast tacos the following day.
Your favorite ninjas, demonstrating deft combat maneuvers. I bet you guys could have schooled Voxtrot at Skee-Ball. I’m also a pretty big fan of the camera angle on the hostess before you play the video. Classy to the max.
WITNESS my buddies on national television. This marks the very first time any of my talented friends have done something of this caliber. Their album Fort Nightly is excellent, to boot. So far it has earned 4.5 stars from All Music Guide, an 8.1 from Pitchfork, and pretty much everyone else is in agreement. Oh yes, they also played the Glastonbury Festival in the UK, Siren Fest in NYC, SXSW in Austin, and are scheduled to hit the road with The Cribs next week. Expect more amazing things to come from these guys in the near, near future. Congratulations White Rabbits; I’m very proud.
The ugly: I extracted a large mass of nastiness from the boil today, leaving an open sore that looks similar to a gunshot wound. According to my mother (a registered nurse and still my #1 source for all things health/injury related) this is actually supposed to happen, but due to the severity of the sore she has advised me to get my ass to the hospital.
The plan: I’m heading to St. Mary’s of Nazareth this evening. Chicago folks know this as the hospital that looks like a spaceship. Friends: if the building takes off unexpectedly, don’t worry. I’ll see you in the future at one of our new moon colonies.
At the end of last week I developed a saddle sore between my right ass cheek and my thigh. For those unfamiliar, I offer Wikipedia’s entry on saddle sores:
A saddle sore is a skin ailment in the nether region due to, or exacerbated by, riding on a bicycle saddle. It often develops in three stages: skin abrasion, folliculitis (which looks like a small, reddish acne), and finally abscess. Because it most commonly starts with skin abrasion, it is desirable to reduce the factors which lead to skin abrasion.
Basically it’s a boil on my ass and it has made sitting down an awful chore. I believe this began with a 20-plus mile race i participated in last Wednesday. Over the weekend it grew and became extremely painful. I have been doing everything in my power to destroy this pesky little visitor. Hot salt water compresses, ointments, rest, tea tree oil, squeezing, etc.
I contemplated doing a photo essay to track its progress but have decided that it is far too gross to share images of. It began draining today and, seriously, I dare anyone to find something more disgusting than what I have been seeing all day long. Ugh. Check back for progress reports and, ultimately, an obituary for this boil.
I’d like to say a few words regarding my new favourite snack, Dream Chews. These delicious fruit chews are made with 80% real fruit, natural juices, and… what’s that?… HONEY?! The result is positively the most amazing little snack money can buy. Speaking of which, remember to bring a little extra dough to your local convenient store, because these babies are kinda pricey at $2.49 a pack, but trust me, they are most certainly worth it. Once purchased (though I am constantly tempted to eat them in the store), I’ll usually cram 3 or 4 chews in my mouth at a time and then brace myself for the impending flavour explosion.
